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With a PHD in fashion, a hair ambassadorship with L’Oréal Paris and a global audience, Victoria is the lady behind the award-winning fashion, travel and beauty blog, Inthefrow.

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Why Kindness
Is Key

I don't know about you but I have this odd undercurrent of unexplainable feelings coursing through my everyday routine and they seem so difficult to put words to. Sometimes it seems enough to simply say 'today wasn't a good day' and other times it seems hard to pinpoint. 

In one of my recent vlogs I mentioned that I'd had a day that was, to put it bluntly, crap. One of those days were things that were already weighing heavy got heavier, feelings of missing family and friends felt suddenly overwhelming and an influx of sad news was the so called cherry on top of the Friends-esque trifle. You know the one I mean, the one with cream, jam and beef sautéed with peas and onions?

What always surprises me most whenever I mention that I've had a bad day though, is that so many people message me to tell me they've had a bad day too and they say thank you for being honest. It always reminds me how rare it is we seem to chat about the bad days, when they're just as normal as the good ones.

Sometimes we need to let go of the expectations we and others have set for ourselves and be kind enough to accept that bad days can happen and if we give ourselves a break, that act of kindness can make things a lot more manageable. Perhaps the key to better days ahead, is always a little kindness.

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In a world were we can struggle to be present and scrolling our social media feeds confronts us with the highlights of other people's lives, it's no wonder that acknowledging a bad day can seem tough. We're taught to strive for what we want and to work hard but that doesn't always naturally align with the not so happy things in life. As someone who experiences imposter syndrome and often doesn't find the time to congratulate myself on my achievements, there's one thing that seems to be even harder to find the time to do and that's to acknowledge the bad days in a productive way. To give myself time to be sad, to give myself time to stop comparing myself to others and to acknowledge my not so great days are a marker for when the great days, really are great.

As an empathetic person I always find that my brain automatically signals to me that someone else's sadness counteracts my own and that I have no real right to have a down day, if someone else is having a worse one. The fact of the matter is we can all be having a bad day on the same day (just as we can all be having a great day and celebrating each other!) and taking the time to acknowledge what you're going through, rather than skimming past it, can in fact be the kindest thing we can do for ourselves. It allows us to deal with it in whichever way works best and in a time of our lives were so many of us are spending more time than ever with our own thoughts, it's even more important to be kind. Being gentle with ourselves isn't a sign of weakness and with no roadmap on how to deal with all the things we're experiencing in our careers, our home lives and with our loved ones, a little kindness will go a long way. I read a really wonderful article not too long ago that resonated with me and how I treat myself on my bad days vs the good. It spoke about being as kind to yourself as your friends would be to you in response to your worries and only offering yourself the kind words and gentleness you would speak to your loved ones. 

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it x

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