Why Alex Took
My Last Name
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Marriage is one of those life events that most people have formed very specific views about. They're often very traditional and most likely passed down from previous generations. I know that I certainly had a vision of what a marriage would be and what it takes to be someone's wife. And part of that vision, up until my mid-teens, was what will my future husband's surname be, and how does that sound after my first name?
I guess to some extent I always just assumed I'd be taking the name Harrison in some capacity. Up until the day, a few weeks before the wedding, when we decided that we'd drop his surname completely, and stick with mine.
But all we've heard since, above any other question, is...
"Why did Alex take your last name?!"
I can only imagine how many people have determined this choice was my idea - and that I probably held Alex hostage at Frowhome and told him he had to take my last name. I promise you that was not the case haha!
In reality? It was all Alex's idea - I swear!
We're not a traditional couple in any sense and I think the majority of people that know us have always known that. We definitely don't try to be anything we have been 'told' to be when it comes to our journeys both together and apart. In fact we weren't even going to have a big wedding initially - instead I always imagined we would go to Las Vegas with a few family members and have the funniest, tackiest style wedding with lots of wine, lots of fried food and lots of love. That idea was perfect for us, until I found a dream dress and we formed a new vision of what our wedding could possibly look like. And as you all know, my mind went wild! Hence why we ended up in a Chateau in the South of France with a Pianist, a jazz band, 72 of our friends, 5 outfits, 2 photographers, 2 videographers and a 24 metre, custom floral pergola. Just a bit different but just as perfect as our original Vegas vision!
We were excitedly chatting one night, a few months pre wedding, about the idea of double barrelling our names. Even sitting like teenagers at the kitchen island and practicing what our married names could look like. We quickly began to question whether Magrath-Harrison, or Harrison-Magrath, was a touch long winded for a 4 year old to learn how to write, when they're starting school. Especially when lots of people still don't know how to spell Magrath or Harrison as stand alone names! So in that same conversation, Alex turned to me and said "let's just keep Magrath." He figured, why not buck tradition, take my name and signify marrying into a family that he's loved and adored for 9 years now.
From the very start of our story, Alex has had such great relationships with all of my family members. I'm so very lucky that I have a small and extremely close knit family. We holiday together, we share both our joys and sadnesses and we make the effort to be around when we're most needed. We don't have petty arguments or say things to antagonise each other and so Alex has been welcomed into my family, both on my Mum and my Dad's side, with hugely open arms. I know for a lot of people, friends of mine included, that may never be a reality so believe me when I say, we know how lucky we both are! With that in mind, for Alex, becoming a Magrath felt like the perfect way to be even more connected to my side of the family.
It must also be said, many people assume Alex's first name is actually Harrison - Harrison was his last name pre wedding just to clarify. So due to his Instagram handle suggesting so (he's @harrison over on Instagram if you don't already follow him), and instead of dropping the name all together, he's actually made Harrison his new middle name. So it's still a part of him, just in a slightly different way and it now lends itself easily towards his beautiful photography work.
And so; that's the truth of it. A small conversation post wedding and Alex made the choice to become part of the Magrath family tree. At the end of the day, who's to say that women have to take their husband's surname anyway? Neither of us are religious, we don't believe that traditions always need to be adhered to necessarily, and marriage is about forming a new life together as a couple. One thing I think we could all agree is that it's most definitely not defined by what name you write on a form at the bank, and whether it's 'his' or 'hers'. However, I must admit, it's a wonderful feeling to know he loves my family so much, that he wanted to be a part of what we have. I guess for that reason, I'm grateful and I'm happy and I'm accepting of what was his decision, for the next small step of our lifelong journey.
As is my brother, who is also called Alex Magrath.
Definitely not confusing during phone calls.