Wedding Blues
or Relief?
It's been almost eight weeks since the wedding came to an end. And whilst part of me can't believe it's already been so long, I think the relief I've felt since then has led me to feel that it was actually months and months ago. I have so many feelings when it comes to our wedding, and how I felt before and after the actual event, but all I do know is that the wedding blues people often talk about - they're absolutely 100% real.
I remember thinking 'How can you be so blue when it's such a happy time?' but I totally understand it now. After months of planning, dedicating every decision, turn and bank transfer to that one weekend, the come down is heavy. It's heavy, it's harsh and it's a feeling like nothing I've experienced before. The blues are a very apt descriptor but equally, the wedding relief for me, is probably even stronger.
The stress, the worry and the anxiety have all suddenly disappeared and our life no longer revolves around a single countdown to a moment in time. Life is finally getting back to normal and the relief is palpable.
I planned our wedding from around November 2018 ish. That was when the first inklings of plans started to come alive and the first decisions appeared on the horizon. Things started to come together a little more so from January this year in the end because December turned out to be the busiest time of my life with the launch of my debut book. So the wedding was put on the back burner until the new year had been celebrated and we had a little more time to dedicate to our vision. That gave us around 8 months to tick off the ever expanding list of how we saw our big day to be and that, as you all know, was a very optimistic timeline - hindsight is a wonderful thing right?
After dedicating so much time, effort and money to one single point in our relationship (no regrets of course, as the memories we made together with our loved ones will be cherished forever) the weight that's lifted off my shoulders feels far bigger than it seemed at the time. So many friends mentioned the wedding blues to me, that I knew we would have it in store for us but wow - what a thing to experience. Suddenly the stress, the panic and the excitement that flooded our lives for so long is gone in the blink of an eye, along with the big day itself. So much focus on something that although incredible, inevitably flew by too fast, has evoked the strangest mix of sadness and relief.
You all know how I felt about wedding planning, even with the help of my amazing planners, assistant and Alex there was still so much I hadn't anticipated having to spend money on, make decisions about and in turn worry about. A lot of the worry was focused on other people having a great time, which I know from loved ones is a common bride to be stressor, but a lot of it was also because of the short length of time we imposed on ourselves to plan the weekend. The was a sense of hurriedness and I think that aspect is why I feel so relieved, especially after choosing a destination wedding for our celebrations too. Although that feeling of experiencing 'the blues' is a harsh reality to face, and is seemingly unavoidable after hearing to spoken about so often, the feeling of utter relief almost balances the other out. My focus is now back on the house, back on work and back on plans for the coming months and for that reason I feel so content. A lot of people offered advice on making sure we had something to shift our focus to after our wedding and also ensure we had something to look forward to, so planning a 2020 honeymoon and continuing to decorate our new home has proved to be the perfect antidote.
I'd love to know if you felt the same after your big day and if you did what did you do to lessen the blow? Did you shift your focus to other plans and delay your honeymoon too?
Images taken in Paris during a press trip with the wonderful Laura Mercier team.
