I Haven't Enjoyed This
Yea yea, I know what I said. A few months ago when I started the Wedding Diaries and expected to be loving every single moment of this wedding process. I mentioned how 'You only plan a wedding once' and therefore I wanted to make the most out of this exciting time. And I felt that, even if I did happen to get a little panicked or stressed out about something, that I wouldn't let it overcome me; because it's my wedding and I should see this as a really unique time.
Well, scrap that. A few months later and I wanted to be truthful with you. It's actually not been all that great...
I think it all started when the venue was a total pain to find.
I think my key issue was this: I didn't leave myself enough time to plan this wedding. And I'm happy to admit it. If I didn't have such a hectic career, AND PRIMARILY, if I hadn't decided to buy a house at the very same time, 9 months would likely have been ample time to plan an at home wedding. But I wanted an abroad wedding... of course I did! *rolls eyes at self numerous times*
So giving myself 9 months to find a venue in the South of France was the first hurdle that took longer to climb over than I optimistically expected. And then right after we found the venue, we also found our new house.
In my defense,
we just happened to be scanning Right Move for potential house research. We weren't actively looking to move urgently - we were just scoping the area and what we could afford. But then came along our ideal house and location, and I suppose you just have to go for it don't you, if time and cash allows. So we did. And then it meant that the wedding and house move were then smack bang side by side for the organising. That's meant solicitors, mortgage advisors, financial advisors, accountants, estate agents, wedding planners, wedding venue staff and goodness knows who else, popping into my emails 20 million times a day which has meant work has been a little more difficult.
Enough with my sob story, but you get the gist. It's been a fricking nightmare of a few months. And I'm absolutely gutted to say that that has led to a Wedding that I haven't had the time to really throw my heart fully into. Trust me, my heart is in this big time, and it's coming together beautifully with the help of Annabel, my Wedding Planner at The Lobster Collective. But honestly, I just wish I had another 6 months to set my mind on this, and just this.
But Im painting a really bad picture here, and there are some really awesome parts of this...
Whilst I haven't enjoyed it as much as I wanted to,
I have still been enjoying so so many moments. I think I just expected to love it more, and was placing so much pressure on myself to be happy as Larry every time someone asked me how the wedding is coming along. When in fact I've felt like a calm duck, ferociously kicking their feet under the water for the last 6 months. We're at a point now though, where this wedding is shaping up to be absolutely beautiful.
- My wedding dresses are beyond my wildest dreams thanks to Phillipa Lepley
- The tableware is being perfectly organised by my Wedding planner extraordinaire.
- Alex's and his Groomsmens suits are all organised and being made
- All 74 of my guests are booked and planning their outfits
- I've got my bridesmaids pretty much sorted, my makeup, my hair, the ... I could go on I suppose.
The things I don't yet have organised are:
- The seating plan and the board it will be displayed on. I'm yet to print this with my wonderful invitation designer - Design by Pye.
- The flowers - but we're almost there
- The shuttle buses carrying my guests from A to B
- The wines we want to drink
- One pair of my dream shoes that are permanently out of stock
- Erm, I can't think of anything else right now but there are definitely more things hmmm.
I don't want this to just be a sob story moment - I want it to be a lesson for any newly engaged brides. My top tips to get the most out of this short and lovely engagement time.
1. Give yourself more time, and then some. Things can come along unexpectedly, and sods law says that things definitely will arise when you're on a tight schedule. So give yourself more time to plan your wedding than you think you'll need. This time being engaged is actually so so nice and I've loved being a fiancee. I'm almost a bit gutted I can't just be a fiancee for a little longer.
2. Make more lists to really help keep yourself organised. And preferably a spreadsheet that you and your planner can add to, and tick off when jobs are done and others need doing. Its invaluable and will ensure you feel like you're on top of everything. I got one of these, but not from the very start, and I wish I could have been plotting everything sooner.
3. Find a wedding planner. Unless you have time off and can work on this part time, you need someone to help you. Especially if your'e having an abroad wedding. My wedding planners at TLC specialise in events, so if you're after a huge party event, they're your people.
4. Give your partner some jobs to do. Honestly, I wish I had had more help from Alex. And this isn't me having a go - at the end of the day it's my fault I suppose for not delegating more. But if you find your other half isn't asking you for jobs or showing any interest, give them some jobs to do. I wish I had handed over a lot more of the jobs than I have. And just having someone else feeling the heat with the planning would have felt a little more like teamwork.