I'm Not Sorry
I'm guilty. Guilty of constantly and consistently apologising for things I have no need to apologise for. There is a right time and a place for a meaningful apology but the truth is so many of us find ourselves saying sorry far too much and far too often. It's seemingly engrained into us - especially women.
So often I find my most used word of the day is sorry. 'Sorry' to the person that bumped into me, 'sorry' to the person that had to wait a very reasonable time for an email response and 'sorry' to the person who has decided they don't like what I stand for. Hindsight tells me that I really shouldn't apologise for half of the things I apologise for but most importantly I shouldn't apologise for being me.
Here are the 3 things we really shouldn't be apologising for and why I've decided to make a conscious effort to limit saying I'm sorry - join me?
I apologise for my appearance far too often and up until recently I don't think I ever really noticed just how much it was a part of my everyday vocabulary. Without thinking, I apologise for wearing no makeup, for not having my best clothes on, for having just left the gym, for the huge spot that just erupted on my face or not having washed my hair for a couple of days - so many things that actually I shouldn't be apologising for at all. I am human and this is me. If I choose to not wear makeup, to venture to the shop straight after the gym or to embrace my new spotty friend, then why should I apologise for it? Admittedly I often make the apology in jest and sometimes as an ice breaker but in an effort to turn that apology on it's head, I'm really trying to be aware of how my apologies could be interpreted by others. I'm not at all sorry for my appearance, messy hair and makeup free face included, and I'd love to grow my confidence enough to leave that too often given apology behind me.
If there's one thing I've learned over the past few years in the public eye, it's that my feelings are valid and they are mine alone. Because someone else is hurting doesn't mean I can't hurt too and because someone else may be experiencing an awful time in their lives, it doesn't make my feelings any less worthy. In the same way I should never apologise for wanting to celebrate my victories and the emotions that come with those victories. There are of course ways to express those feelings correctly and maturely, but I know I should never have to apologise for the things that I am naturally feeling. Apologising for the emotions that are at the core of who I am, shouldn't be a part of my vocabulary and I'm trying my best to become more meaningful and forthcoming with my emotions. I'm not sorry for the way I feel and I'm looking forward to recognising even more, that I am allowed to express those feelings too.
My priority list has taken a huge leap forward in 2019 and although there is still so much to work on, I'm learning that I should never apologise for the priorities I'm making and creating. The opportunities I've earned and continue to work towards, shouldn't warrant an apology to a different side of my life. I'm not perfect and as I've often joked about, I also don't have access to a time machine to allow me to be able to take every chance I'm given - personal or otherwise. This means I sometimes miss out on family time, on time with friends and on other amazing career breaking moments but I pin point my priorities with my future in mind and I should never feel the need to apologise for working towards a life lived well. I'm not sorry for prioritising certain things in my life and I'm sure although I will make mistakes in the process, as we all do, no apologies are needed for the decisions I make.
It's a habit I'd like to break and one I'd love to turn into a more positive aspect of my life. Apologies are of course polite and are much needed in the right circumstance, but I'd like to say goodbye to the flippant apologies I make so often. I'd love to encourage even one other person to be mindful of their apologies and only say 'I'm sorry', when it's truly necessary.