Why it’s Okay to Have a Bad Day

31/07/17

So, you've had a bad day!?

Location: The Hamptons, New York
Last week everything got too much for me. I had taken on so much work, I needed way more sleep than I was managing and it suddenly hit me, whilst battling jet lag, that Alex and I move apartments very, very soon. My ‘to do’ list suddenly became a ‘to do’ novel that rivalled Tolstoy’s War and Peace (it’s nice to exaggerate). I was drowning in emails, tripping over packing boxes and an overwhelming sense of panic was appearing on the horizon.

Fast forward a few days and I feel much more together, much more organised and everything is almost back in perspective. I took a very deep breath, planned when I could next have a real break and asked for help with the things that I was struggling with before it could get any worse.

That feeling of helplessness, underneath the mountain of tasks that weighed down on top of me was in fact completely normal and with hindsight I can see why I had got to that point. I need to realise there are only 7 days in a week and I also need to keep in mind, in that moment, that a couple of bad days will never outweigh the good.

On last week’s Vlog, I explained that it had been a hectic few days filled with a few too many events/meetings as well as all the behind the scenes content creation (and a few personal things too) and I was very much in need of a day off sooner rather than later, for my own health. I was stressed and it had all hit me like a wave that seemed impossible to ride without first crashing and having a good cry.

Perspective is a must at times like this to be able to get back up and start again but it is truly okay to have a bad day. Life isn’t all roses and love hearts despite what social media may show, and a couple of stressful days certainly doesn’t mean you aren’t thankful for everything that has preceded them.

I live a life I truly utterly love but who you are, what career you are in or how much money you earn, does not give you a sliding scale on which to judge an appropriate amount of stress any individual is ‘allowed’ to feel. I’m not even sure where to begin with some of the comments I received in reply to being so open in my vlog, but I really wanted to mention 2 things with this post.

  1. We need to respect each other’s individuality.
  2. Emotions and mental health do not discriminate.

People deal with stress in very different ways, for the simple fact we are all very different people. Some people’s reaction to stress will be hyper organisation and may turn to anxiety, others will shut down as a coping mechanism to block the stress out and some, like me, may feel completely overwhelmed for a day or two and then be able to bring some perspective back, one way or another. I read some comments that really astounded and disappointed me, more so than many others have previously. I was left feeling angry, hurt and rather frustratingly for a moment, guilty about being so honest.

There were comments that said because I earn a good wage I wasn’t allowed to be stressed, because I didn’t have a ‘real job’ I shouldn’t be stressed and because I had been truthful about having a couple of bad days I was suddenly an ungrateful *insert expletive here*. Why is there a limit on the amount of crappiness I’m allowed to feel as another human being? Why does my career and my savings account dictate wether my mental health is important? Should I be allocated a set amount of days to feel sad and try to ensure I don’t exceed them, or are my feelings in fact valid too?

“You only appreciate the good days because the bad days happened.”

What really disheartened me about some of the comments I received, was how they conveyed that my career and financial situation were somehow linked to how valid my feelings were allowed to be. Emotions, feelings and mental health do not discriminate and this mindset needs to end. This is the mindset that represses people’s ability to ask for help when things get too much to handle. One person’s feelings are not more valid than another’s and I for one do not want the next generation to feel guilt for expressing how they feel.

There was one wonderful comment that summed up my thoughts better than I ever could have by a lovely individual named Lara: “Everybody is allowed to feel exhausted from time to time, no matter what you do and never would I even think for a moment that you don’t feel blessed. It’s normal, isn’t it? And it’s totally okay, we are all just human beings. I believe what we can do is cheer each other up instead of bringing others down. What’s the point in this? Women should fix each others crowns when they’re broken.” How incredible would it be if we all thought about others this way? Please let’s try.

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I feel so passionately that everyone’s feelings are valid no matter what situation you may find yourself in. If you ever feel like you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it and know that you matter x

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