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How Do You Know When You’re Engaged?


Am I Engaged?

Location: Cuba, Varadero
Now be honest with me here; hands up how many of us have got a secret, or not so secret Wedding Pinterest board? I have and it’s no secret to anyone who follows me over there and it’s definitely no secret to Alex either. I have friends who created bridal inspo boards before they even had a partner and likewise before they were even engaged. But what is being engaged? We all know that congrats are in order when the big proposal happens. Down on one knee, ring in hand and the declaration of how happy that other person makes you but what if you don’t have a ring on that finger yet?

The other week Alex and I ventured back up North for a Glastonbury-esque family party that you may have seen on the vlogs and as always the topic turned to marriage. Often the topic is welcome and Alex and I love to daydream about how our perfect day would ideally go, how we would create a wedding day that represented both of us and how we would choose to celebrate after the ceremony, which let’s face it is the exciting bit! While we were chatting my Uncle said something that totally made us rethink our situation.

‘So you’re engaged then?’ Our answer was of course no. There’s no ring on my finger and Alex hasn’t proposed to me. ‘But you’re getting married and you’re planning your wedding?’ Our answer was of course yes. ‘So you’re engaged then!’ Maybe he’s right. Maybe we are another version of engaged that doesn’t warrant an official question and a diamond. I chatted about marriage in my Conforming post and shared how I feel you should be able to make your own pathway. Marriage is a choice and so is an engagement. Even though I advocate being ourselves and not needing to follow a traditional path, maybe I’ve accidentally created a new path with our relationship. But what is right for us may not be right for another.

Do we really need labels and to fit into certain boxes? Maybe my Uncle is right and we are just who we are, ring or not. All I know is we are happy and that’s what matters.

All of our paths are different because they are our own; labels don’t define us nor should they define our relationships with the ones we love and care for. Just as our lives shouldn’t be restricted to certain pathways, neither should the little detours. We are unique and so are our relationships, and I guess we should embrace that. Just because there’s no ring yet, it doesn’t mean there’s no engagement in the pipeline and if you don’t know where it’s going, then have fun finding out!

“I don’t know where it’s going, but I like where we are.”

Northcote – Worry

Let me know your thoughts on this little conversation and if maybe you ‘feel’ engaged but officially aren’t or if perhaps you love the idea of the official act and the ring on your finger. I would love to know if your path took the traditional route or if you decided to go your own way. And on a more exciting note if you have an amazing wedding Pinterest board to share with me, please do!


Photographs taken in Varadero, Cuba with Virgin Holidays. Just go here if you’d like to know more about a Virgin Holidays trip to Cuba!

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