Why You No Longer Need To Conform

09/06/17

Why you no longer need to conform

Location: Shangri La, Maldives
I’ve always been a firm believer that we should follow our own paths and as long as we support others along the way, we should never feel ‘bad’ or guilty about the decisions that we make for ourselves and our lives. I’ve spoken before about how comparison can be both the thief of joy and a way to encourage you to work harder for your goals, but when it comes to how you think you are viewed by others, it can sometimes be a completely different and almost debilitating story.

Some of us will have a pathway laid out by ourselves (or others) and goals to achieve by certain ages because we want and feel we should be ticking off that traditional list that generations before us did. Others will feel that the importance of a list, of goals and of doing as we are somewhat expected to, is nothing but an unnecessary stressor in a life already filled with urgency and panic.

Guess what? Both of these views and both of these options are A OK. Why? Because it’s 2017.

One of my favourite sayings in life is ‘You do you.’ I offer advice, I offer opinion, I offer (hopefully) inspiration, but none of the words I place on this site are ‘correct’. That’s the wonder of social media in the modern age and we need to embrace the reality of this too – to stop us being enveloped by that feeling of being left behind the pack.

So your Best Friend got married but you’re single, your Neighbour had kids but you don’t want any, your Brother has a degree but you didn’t finish University and your Cousin travelled the world but you would rather stay closer to home. Life is personal, life is unique, and life is yours alone. Do with it what you will, in what order you’d like and focus on happiness as a whole, instead of feeling as though you’re being left behind. No one should have to feel the pressure to conform anymore and in the same way no one should pressure others to conform to their life plan.

You do you.

MARRIAGE

Marriage is a choice. A choice between 2 people who choose to spend a day in celebration and make a commitment to each other surrounded by friends and family. Marriage is not a necessity. If you choose in life to not have that one day, it doesn’t make your relationship any less important than someone else’s. Just because your friends have decided a traditional pathway of ‘courting’, an engagement and then marriage, we must understand that our choices in life are still the right ones for us. It’s okay to not get married if that is what makes you happy and it’s okay if your marriage doesn’t last forever. Life isn’t perfect.

CHILDREN

Children are a delicate subject and one I think people should be more aware of before the question ‘When are you having children?’ is spoken. Just because a couple have chosen to get married does not mean that children are in their future and just because a couple have chosen privately to have children, does not always mean they are able to. Whatever your personal choice, make the right choice for you and not for someone else. If you want children naturally or by adoption, if you don’t see children in your future or if you want children without marriage, if you’d like a career alongside children or if you want to be a stay at home Mum or Dad, or maybe you and the universe have other plans entirely for your path, it’s all okay. Any choice you make is yours to make, without pressure from the outside world.

LOVE & SEXUALITY

It’s 2017 and it breaks my heart that people across the world still feel that they have to hide who they are or conform to what others (sometimes by law) think they should be. Love is a wonderful thing and we should all be able to support the choices we and others make in the name of love. Your sexuality doesn’t make you any less important than anyone else. You can’t always choose who you fall in love with, but let’s choose to support those who need it the most. It’s okay to love the same sex, it’s okay to love the opposite sex, it’s okay to love both and it’s okay to not love at all. Make the choice that ultimately makes you happy and surround yourself with people who understand or want to understand your happiness.

CAREERS

This is definitely a subject that divides and one that in my true opinion shouldn’t. Whichever career or job is top of your list of goals is completely up to you, and shouldn’t leave you feeling left behind in comparison to others. If you want to focus all of your attention and time on a successful career then you do it, if you want to progress your career and have children too then do it. If a career is the last thing you want and you would rather be a stay at home parent, then focus on that! And if a career was once important but now life seems more so, then focus on what will bring you the most happiness. Whether you choose a career, children, a partner or all of the above, there is no ‘right’ answer. You do you.

A DAY IN MY LIFE IN THE MALDIVES

I’d love to know what you think about this topic and if you’ve ever felt the need to conform in life? Let me know below if you’ve ever felt left behind your friends or how important it’s been for you to break out of the mould? It’s 2017. Let’s support everyone in the choices they make and understand that life is what you make it.