Why Change May Be A Good Thing

14/06/17

Why It's Okay To Change

You’ve heard it before and most likely a lot. The phrase we’ve all used at some point to explain a drifting friendship, a change in someone’s career/life or even to hide that twinge of jealousy we’ve felt at another’s success. They’ve changed. All too easily said but not always entirely what we really mean.

I am definitely guilty of muttering it, and from experience it’s definitely the easy option. I’ve made a conscious effort over the past few months to flip the way in which I see change, and in turn, really work out what it is I mean when I so negatively say ‘They’ve changed.’ And why does it even have to be negative? What if we replace the word changed with grown? Suddenly the negativity is lifted and we see what that individual has done as something to be applauded whether it fits in with our lives or not.

Growth is something we encourage as friends, as family and as co-workers, but as soon as that person’s growth takes a detour that strides out of our own view, we can find ourselves defensive, when in fact they have learned, grown and followed their heart/mind as we often ourselves do. It can be hard to see past your own emotions when something and/or someone changes, but often if we take a second to think it through, we can realise that we too have changed and that perhaps life has just happened.

CHANGE IS REALLY GROWTH

As my Mum used to say to me, ‘You need to learn from your own choices.’ Someone leaving their job to go travelling around the world, although it’s not on your radar, doesn’t mean it won’t benefit that other person. They may grow in confidence, they may learn to be financially independent and they may find their soul mate on their adventures. Change is a great thing and can be found in so many different places and people. We cannot just assume our view of how life should progress is correct for anyone else but you. We can advocate for the things we think are important in life and why, but we cannot lecture others and insist they are wrong in their feelings and decisions.

LET’S SPREAD POSITIVITY 

I often talk on the blog about how I try my very hardest to be positive and sometimes I have to admit it’s so hard to embrace. It can be hard to choose positivity for our own lives sometimes so choosing it for others can be increasingly challenging. So many of us regularly complain about trivial things, despite feeling so lucky in life. And we often judge others without a second thought of how we might ourselves have had an impact on that situation. Let’s spread positivity, let’s encourage others to follow their dreams and let’s allow the people around us to change and grow without fear of judgement. We all have our own lives to live.

IS IT YOU? 

You may think someone has changed and it may not be in a way that you agree with or like but really, is it you? Sometimes we are so focused on our own feelings and our own reactions to others that we may not see that this is on us. That friendship that has faded away that you are quite certain was all down to the other person’s lack of communication, may also be down to you. When was the last time you checked in with them? When was the last time you recognised they might have needed you? When was the last time you said I love you. Friendship is a two way street and as obvious as this may seem, put yourselves into someone else’s shoes for a second before racing to conclusions.

LIFE HAPPENS 

You can be the best of friends, the most supportive of colleagues and the closest of family, but life happens. I’m not saying that you should ever really ‘give up’ on people (unless for your own wellbeing you must), but sometimes people drift away through no fault of your own. Sometimes life can suddenly pull you in a different direction altogether. However if there is respect, trust and love, I am sure you will find each other again. And when your paths cross again, it will allow that relationship to pick up just where it left off – perhaps with better timing in life for the both of you. Similarly if you don’t cross paths with that person again, for whatever reason, maybe time apart was just meant to be. Life happens.

Let me know your opinions on change and how you deal with it in your lives. I would love to know if you think change is a positive thing too!