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With a PHD in fashion, a hair ambassadorship with L’Oréal Paris and a global audience, Victoria is the lady behind the award-winning fashion, travel and beauty blog, Inthefrow.

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3 Ways to Live with a Workaholic (By a Workaholic)

04/11/16

Workaholic Alert

Self-confessed workaholic over here. In all honesty, I think I always have been. Always studious, interested to learn more, improve myself, jump over the next hurdle and move on to the next challenge. I make work for myself, take knock backs very personally and find myself frustrated and annoyed when I haven’t reached a goal I had set myself that day. And I’m not all that sure how to overcome it.

I prefer sitting on my laptop, writing, editing or shopping. And whilst shopping for those who do not blog or Instagram, is a fun and exciting pastime, for me, all I am imagining is blog posts and instagram posts in my beautiful new shoes. It is no longer a recreational activity where I can switch off. In fact, it is actually quite tasking and time-consuming, when I could be doing other things and using my time more productively.

And I think that that is what it all comes down to. Time. And my effective use of it. If I am not using it efficiently, I’m irritated and anxious. And I also hate to fail, or miss deadlines, or let people down. When in fact they probably don’t realise how urgently I am working, for something that does not require haste. But this is me all over. And this post is all about how to deal with ‘me.’

SPACE.

I enjoy time by myself, mainly because it means I can work without interruption. Any slight hindrance to my train of thought and I can become so frustrated I would like to pop. And it is almost because I am so consumed in the task at hand that the outside world is on hold until I can come out of my shell again. And if that thought process is broken, I am losing time and I am going to have to get my head back into the task again, which will take me much longer to complete. On the surface, who cares?! Have a coffee, have a cuddle with your other half, have a quick look at your message your friend just text you. But for someone like me, if it is coming between me and the task I have in my mind to complete, then it is just an annoyance for that moment in time. It is almost the devil on my shoulder willing me to procrastinate. And procrastination is a whole other story.

DON’T STATE

THE OBVIOUS.

I know that I’m working a lot, and I know that I’m tired. Those bags under my eyes I have seen those too and that extra hour I’m working before bed, I’m aware it’s affecting my sleeping patterns. But telling me, or someone, that they’re a workaholic is just stating the obvious. I know that I love to work, but I don’t want the title of workaholic to become a necessarily negative title. But if you are told more than once that you are a workaholic, the chances are that the title is being given to you with negative connotations. I don’t believe that working hard and setting your sights on goals is a negative thing. If it’s really starting to cause major issues in your relationship or family life, then yes perhaps it requires some thought, but for someone building their career, good on them for trying to better themselves and work their arse off to get there. Women especially are building the most incredible careers for themselves and want to prove they can achieve whatever they set their minds to, and I’m all for it. But if it does start to cause negative affects in your life, then a caring chat is all that is needed. Going in all guns blazing is not the way to handle someone who has their mind focused on their work, career and building a life for themselves and their family.

UNDERSTANDING.

Patience and understanding are key to living with someone who loves to work, but assertiveness is definitely essential. I need my other half to be patient with me, every time that I say I’ll be another ten minutes, and an hour later I’m still working on a blog post. But the truth is, that that piece of work just happens to be taking a bit longer, my time estimation was off and I need to finish said work before I can relax. And so, it may be annoying when I’m a little later than I said I’d be, but the work is now finished and I can finally switch off. Pulling me away from a piece of work is probably the worst thing someone can do. My mind won’t switch off until it’s done. Yet being assertive when it comes to the point when I don’t know my own time limits, really does help. There are times when I will work and work and work, and if clocks didn’t exist, I’d be working through to the early morning without realising how tired my eyes are. And in those cases, where I’m stuck into my work and completely in the zone, sometimes I do need an assertive voice to tell me that it’s time to call it a day and to put down my phone. If I’m mid-task, then absolutely not, but if I’m just skimming the Internet, researching and doing goodness knows what on social media, a friendly reminder to call it a day definitely helps. A friendly reminder I add again, as shouting at me to put down my phone is not going to get you anywhere.

Can I have a show of hands if you’re in the same workaholic boat? I would love to discuss this with you, so please do leave a comment if you consider yourself an uber hard worker who finds it hard to switch off. How does your partner deal with it and how do you live with it yourself? I’d love for you guys to all swap tips if it could help someone!

Shots taken at Park Hyatt, Maldives 

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