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5 Ways to Overcome Insults, Bullying and Online Hate

19/08/16

Focusing my Energy on Me

This post follows on from my recent post on a similar theme; Girl on Girl Crime.

My energy can get pulled in different directions sometimes. I can be a sensitive soul and take particular comments to heart when they literally have no bearing on me or my day. I can also read too much into situations and take things personally, when I have absolutely no need to. Everyone is fighting their own battles, living their own lives and struggling with their own personal goals and endeavours. And often some people take that fight out on others without thought, care or maturity.

And I feel this must happen to so many. Colleagues, students, school kids, social media followers; they will all come under attack from someone with a grudge at some point in their life. And for a lot of people, it is too much to handle. For others it bothers them for days, others for an hour and others for a minute or so before they move along.

Whilst over the years of blogging and youtubing, I have become massively desensitised to the jealous, scathing and spiteful comments that I sometimes receive, for others it will be a burden that they find difficult to handle, and so I wanted to share some tips for dealing with online and workplace hate and bullying.

Ignore.

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It’s difficult, but often the best way to move on from a dispute is to ignore it entirely. The chances are, the person who is spiteful enough to hate on you, will never let you defend yourself. You could defend and defend until the cows come home and they will twist your every word until it spirals out of control. These people want to fight their battles publicly and with a human target and they won’t give up until they’ve exhausted themselves. The best thing is to just ignore them, pity their negativity and blank their insults from your mind. With a little help from the next tip.

Focus on you.

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Ask yourself, why this person is speaking to you or bullying you in the way that they are. 99% of the time it is jealousy related and based on that person’s insecurities. So, think about all of those amazing things they’re jealous of. Make a list in your head of every reason they are jealous of you, and focus on those facts. Maybe you’re super successful, maybe you’re really beautiful, maybe you’re super smart, maybe you have a body to die for, maybe you go on the best holidays or maybe you come from a wonderful family. They are all potential reasons why this person holds a grudge and those are the things you should focus on when you start to feel bullied. Focus on number one; you and only you.

Block.

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In the online world, the best way to delete someone’s spiteful words is via a simple block. It’s the easiest way to blank someone out of your life and ignore every word they have to say. Let them go on with themselves until they become exhausted and move on to the next thing they feel jealous of. In a face to face situation, find any way to distance yourself from these people. Ask your boss to move office, ask your teacher if you can move seats or maybe make a slight career move. You never know, maybe this was the push you needed to move further up the ladder and better yourself. However, you should not have to move careers, and appeasing your bullying colleague is the last thing you should do. In this case, go and see your HR representative or manager straight away and explain your issues.

 

Grow in strength.

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Let this situation make you stronger and thicken your skin. You could be the juiciest peach in the basket, but there will always be someone who loves to hate peaches. You could be the most generous, kind, warm hearted person in the world, and someone will always hold a grudge. Because unfortunately that is just the way some humans are; they prefer to hate than to cheer someone on. Because it’s easier to hate and feel jealous of another than to support and get behind them. Be the stronger person and you will ultimately grow in strength.

Talk.

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Don’t suffer in silence. Speak to your parents about what’s troubling you. The chances are that they can help, and if not, sharing your worries will really help with the issue. Speak to your colleagues, and find out if how you are feeling is similar to their feelings. The chances are that you won’t be alone. Or speak to your friends, and talk through your situation. Often splitting your problem and story with another, will lighten your burden. And in most cases will lead to some great tips and a boost of confidence. On the odd occasion when I get trolled, I’ll speak to other bloggers and youtubers who share my feelings and I realise that I am just one of many who are fed up. And if not, they can remind you of how insignificant the situation actually might be. A lot of people are in the same boat as you without you realising. So stop paddling on your own.

We have all been in a situation where we have felt insulted or bullied by someone, I’m sure. So please do share your tips on how you overcame or overcome these situations for anyone else who is struggling.

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