Its been a while since I wrote something personal and non fashion or beauty related. I just feel there are a few things I need to say and I fancied getting it all written down. I guess its all about the real person behind the instagram shots and the blog photos.
First things first. I’m pretty exhausted right now. When I started blogging, I didn’t realise how much of my life it would consume. Whilst there are a lot of fab bloggers out there who have worked hard at their blogs and now blog full time without any other full time commitments, I am struggling with a full time job and a PhD to finish, plus a full time blog. Then there are all the things that go with it. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, hundreds of blog photos, my Youtube channel, Lookbook, Google+, Tumblr. I’m getting to the point of burn out. Lets just say I’m writing this at 12.50am.
Please don’t get me wrong though. I LOVE my blog. It is what I spend most of my time doing, thinking about and planning for. I hope to make this a full time role in my future when I can, but for now who knows where the future will take me, so I’m just riding the wave and hoping for the best. But honestly, Im only just keeping my head above water.
I feel ridiculously lucky for how much support I have gained over the past 19 months. Going from 0 to 7200 followers in that time, not to mention 58,000 subscribers on my Youtube and 67000 on my Instagram feed, its all pretty overwhelming and I have to pinch myself sometimes. Yet, I am such a striver and I’m never satisfied, so onwards and upwards is generally my motto. I just want everything to grow bigger and better, but yet I’m a struggling with the fact I literally don’t have enough time to do everything I need to do. I blog daily, as I love blogs that update every day, and that in itself is hard work. But I’d love to change my content more, write back to every comment, make more videos, collaborate with people more, go to more events.
A few months back I swore to only post outdoor photos, because of course they’re more interesting and aesthetically look far more professional. But yet, one outdoor shoot can take 20 minutes or more, hours if you go somewhere out and about and you cant change quickly, plus you need a photographer and Im not one of those lucky sods with a photographer boyfriend. It got to the point where it was taking too much time to shoot outside and wasn’t physically possible for me anymore. Thats why I’m back filming and shooting in my bedroom, as I can take (and do take) about 12 outfits in my room back to back. Yep, my whole weekends are gone by doing that, but I feel that I need to (and I have to), if I want to keep growing. So it means I get up early, work all day, get home and blog and then my whole weekends are spent taking photos for the next week. To say its putting pressure on my relationship would be an understatement, I’m just so grateful that Alex manages to put up with me.
But then I don’t want you to see this as a moan, like I said, I love doing all of this, and I’m so happy to see you guys enjoy it. If anything, this is an apology, for anyone who reads my blog or follows me socially, if you’re feeling at all neglected, let down or bored by me or my blog. I read every single comment on my blog and social feeds, every single one. Sometimes it makes me laugh to see people talking about me (not nastily, but generally) on my Instagram feed or something similar, as if I’m not there and I’m some sort of robot. Of course I’m going to read that, I don’t get that many comments that I would miss it, and I really do try to answer comments when I can. But I’m just me, a girl with purple hair that likes pastel colours, and I’d love for you to say hey. If someone has a burning question, I will try my best to answer, if the answer isn’t already blatantly obvious or written in the description. A lot of times I get asked about my hair colour, which is extremely flattering. I’d be rich if I had a pound for how many times I’ve been asked and I’ve answered. But I have it dyed in a salon and I don’t know what she uses, I’m sorrrrryyyyyyyyy. But thank you for being so lovely to ask!
Also, hearing last week that there is some horrible gossip forum for girls to go and bitch about bloggers or celebs or something, I don’t fully know, but it sounds like some sort of twisted episode of gossip girl. I haven’t looked on there as I don’t want to see anything hurtful written about myself or anyone else. I spend far too long writing and trying my best in life for someone spiteful, resentful and green with jealousy putting me down. For anyone who has had hurtful comments made about then, that is all they are. Spiteful, resentful and full of jealousy and it should just push you to keep going because you’re blatantly doing something very right. But bloggers should seriously stick together more and stop with the competitiveness. I have met so many bloggers now and every single one of them is a gem. Super friendly, helpful, kind and sweet. They all have a similar dream and are trying their best and that should only be praised and supported.
On that note as well, I really think that more brands need to start supporting bloggers and showing them a bit of respect for the time they put in. I had a horrendous email off a guy from a Manchester based gadgets and phone cases company recently, and it was by far the nastiest email I’ve ever received. After telling him I couldn’t guarantee posting about his product unless I loved it, he sarcastically told me that I was the most unprofessional blogger he had spoken to and that the way I ran my blog was ridiculous. I was so so upset, almost to the point of tears, all because some idiot with no manners didn’t know how blogging worked. I write my blog because I want to talk about and review products I love. Im not just an advertisement for everything that a company wants free promotion for. I do write positive and negative reviews, but I’m not going to take time out of my day to write about something that I’m not overly coveting in the first place. After voicing my opinion on Twitter, I was relieved to see other bloggers had experienced something similar and that in fact I was actually great to work with as a blogger (thank you Grace!). But how dare someone like that, with no PR skills whatsoever, knock my confidence and make me question my own blogging etiquette. I’m growing thicker skin as we speak.
But onto a brighter note, a huge thing happened to me recently which I am ridiculously proud of. I was signed to a Social Media Agency, Gleam, and it was the confidence boost I needed to realise I could try and get to the places I wanted to be. When I’m having a down day, a phone call from them to tell me of lots of exciting ideas in the pipeline, is exactly what I need. Again though, I wish I had more time to do everything I possibly could, but perhaps those things just aren’t meant to be right now. In the future though, I hope that you will see me participating in a lot more.
So I just wanted to get that off my chest. I mainly wanted to apologise to anyone who feels a little let down by me for any reason and I just wanted to give my reasons why. I’m truly sorry if you feel that way, but Im really trying my best with the little time I have and I’m working towards a future where I can blog to my hearts content.
So I just want to know from you guys, are you still enjoying my content? What could I do differently, or what would you prefer to see from me? Who are your favourite bloggers and why, perhaps I could take some inspiration from them to give my creative ideas flowing again. I hope this has cleared a few things up and mainly thankyou so much for sticking around, supporting me and always popping back for a read. It means the world to me and more.
Love you all xxx
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